This year we assembled a set of books for parents to read through with their teenagers. Some of these are heavy theologically, others more practical. It opens with a basic set of recommendations, and then it follows with contributions from a number of our singles. Their insights and remembrances add a great deal to what is below. I hope it helps you in the sobering and wonderful task of parenting your children!
Some of the books even include discussion questions in the back, or at the end of the chapters. For those without questions, one approach is to read a section (either together or apart), talk through the point the author is trying to make, and then apply it. Application could be asking questions like these:
- What should I think or do in light of this?
- What should I not think or do in light of this?
- How would my life be different if I thought or did this?
- What recent example in my life shows that I need to grow in this area?
The real point here is to open spiritual discussions between a parent and their child. There is no need to make these extensive sessions. It’s the cumulative affect of many such conversations over the years that will have a great impact. Maybe a goal could be to take one of these books each year and work through it.
Here was the initial list I gave to the singles to start with:
Growing Up Christian by Karl Graustein
Humility by CJ Mahaney
Living the Cross-Centered Life by CJ Mahaney
The Gospel for Real Life by Jerry Bridges
When People are Big and God is Small by Ed Welch
Stop Dating the Church by Josh Harris
Sex is Not the Problem by Josh Harris
Concise Theology by J.I. Packer
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Daniel,
What a great idea! I’m sure this will be a real blessing to the youth, and I feel very honored to be a part of it! The list you have looks very similar to what I was reading during those years, so I’d say you’re definitely on the right track (I have very vivid memories of reading When People are Big . . . in the orthodontist’s office in junior high . . .)!
In general, the book that I’d say really consistently affected me was Spurgeon’s Morning & Evening. As a 14-year old (and up) reading this, I found it to be very helpful in its accessible size (1-2 pages a day is pretty manageable!), variety of topics, and of course, the rich content. Spurgeon’s own example of faith and devotion was very evident and really convicted me (also, I learned some new vocabulary words from all that flowery prose!). Another great devotional that I know I was reading by at least 8th grade was John Piper’s A Godward Life (both volumes).
For a non-devotional book, I’d say probably Jerry Bridges’ Trusting God, A.W. Tozer’s The Knowledge of the Holy, or John Piper’s When I Don’t Desire God. I don’t think I was in Youth Group when I read all of these, but I think they are definitely appropriate for at least 9th grade and up (I’ve always found Jerry Bridges to be especially easy to read). All three really broadened my view of God (head knowledge), but also caused me to love Him more and affected my walk in very practical ways (heart knowledge). Also, in junior high, I remember reading the smaller Sovereign Grace book series (This Great Salvation, Disciplined for Life, etc.), and that was a good fit, I think.
For girls, I’d also really recommend Jani Ortlund’s Fearlessly Feminine, Elisabeth Elliot’s Let Me Be A Woman, and anything by the Mahaney ladies. I was in senior high when I read all of these, but the Mahaneys’ Girl Talk is certainly appropriate from 7th grade on up.
Sarah Billheimer
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Daniel,
Most of the books that came into my mind were already on your list. But books that were also very helpful for me were:
Morning and Evening by Spurgeon
I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Josh Harris
I Exalt You, O God by Jerry Bridges
I Will Follow You, O God by Jerry Bridges
I Give You Glory, O God by Jerry Bridges
For girls, “Girl Talk” by Carolyn Mahaney and her daughter, “Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye” by Carolyn McCulley, and “Beautiful Girlhood” (by Karen Andreola?) have been helpful. And, while I haven’t read it yet, I know a lot of young girls and guys who have benefited from “Don’t Waste Your Life” by John Piper. Our family is also going through “Do Hard Things” by Alex and Brett Harris, which is designed exactly for teenagers.
Hope this helps!
-Bekah Billheimer
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Concise Theology – dad gave it me in 9th grade or so. it was probably my first non-oral theological instruction.
Redemption Accomplished and Applied – saved my soul in college. wish i had read it earlier.
Philip Sasser
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Hi Daniel,
Honestly, I don’t remember jr high very well, so these are all from high school or later.
I remember “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” seemed big at the time (he wrote it when I was 16 I think), but I’m not sure how much it actually affected me in the long run. I think “Passion & Purity” actually had a bigger impact on that subject. Also, CJ’s book wasn’t out at the time, but Andrew Murray’s “Humility” was pretty big for me. “Discipline of Grace” was good, and for girls, “Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman” by Anne Ortlund. Some books that I read later on, but wished I had read earlier are “The Treasure Principle” and “Fearlessly Feminine.”
That’s all I can think of right now…I’ll let you know if I remember anything else. Bethany has read alot more christian books than me, so maybe ask her as well…
~ Joy Burnett
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I would add Packer’s, “Knowing God” to the list.
–Daniel Burnett
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Hey Daniel,
I was saved when I was 16 (11th grade), so these are from the year or two after that. But these are the books that were the most formative for me:
The Knowledge of the Holy - A.W. Tozer
Humility – Andrew Murray
A Defense of Calvinism – C. Spurgeon
A Hunger for God – John Piper
Thoughts for Young Men – J.C. Ryle
The Christian in Complete Armour – William Gurnall
I’d be careful not to under-estimate a teenager’s reading ability, and their ability to interact with larger theological concepts, especially if the Holy Spirit is working in their hearts. I know at least for myself, that books and teaching on more practical and surface-level issues had little, if any, effect until God had brought me to genuine repentance, and to convictions about the deeper theological foundations of faith.
Also, when it came to more practical areas, like commitment to the local church and battling lust, I found that sermons on those issues had a much greater effect on me than books. I’m not sure if that’s a common experience, but it seems like being taught on those things by a human voice, rather than the slightly more removed medium of writing, was more effective at challenging my heart. I’m not sure if a list of suggested listening might be useful, but here are a few that were really helpful for me after I got saved:
Commitment to the Church - Josh Harris (NA 03)
Why the Church? - Pete Greasley (NA 2000)
The Cross: Irressistably Drawn - C.J. Mahaney (NA 99)
The Idol Factory - C.J. Mahaney (NA 00)
Holiness Is a Harvest - Josh Harris (NA 02)
Picture of a Godly Man - Eric Simmons (Guys breakout NA 02)
Men and Women: Similarites and Differences - Wayne Grudem (NA 04)
All of John Piper’s biographical messages.
I could give a lot more, but those are a few ideas.
I hope that helps,
Nick Schlax
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Honestly, for me even remembering what books I read is hazy at best. I do remember reading the discipline of grace (jerry bridges) in high school. I’m reading his ‘respectable sins’ right now by the way and he says so many profound concepts in such a readable and yet not dumbed down kind of way; really good.
matt Noel
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my parents gave me “thoughts for young men” by j.c. ryle right before 9th grade (though that would have limited usefulness for the ladies). “desiring God” was a great book, as was “future grace” (both by john piper, which i’m sure you know). i read both of those at some point during high school, probably 10-11 grade. “still sovereign” was good, especially as i tried to reconcile my thoughts to calvinism, and as i argued with arminian friends from other churches. i read “knowing God” during those years as well, and it was excellent, especially the chapter on adoption.
i’m trying to think of books helpful specifically for teens, but i don’t know they’d be any different from books helpful now. i honestly don’t feel any different now than six years ago. i’m more… shall we say restrained? but i’m not fundamentally altered, and, though i’m growing in capacity and ability to comprehend God’s truth, i’m affected by the same sorts of things. for me, having friends and parents with whom to discuss the books/sermons/conferences was more instrumental than any of those resources in isolation. that might not be true for the more insightful reader, though i think discussion proves valuable regardless.
you could ask jamie martin and lynne walton also. they were always big readers back in the day.
paul boccacio
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Daniel,
Stepping Heavenward- Elizabeth Prentiss (I didn’t like this book at first, because the girl reminded me so much of me! But God was gracious, and one day gave me the desire to read this book that has now become a favorite- the story of a girl’s life from adolescence to mid-life, and how the Holy Spirit grew her in godliness along the way)
Passion & Purity- Elisabeth Elliot (Later teen years)
Beautiful Girlhood- Karen Andreola (Excellent- a little old-fashioned at times, but so full of timeless truth for young women.)
How Can I Be Sure I’m a Christian?- Donald Whitney (The senior high girls care group went through this one year.)
To the Golden Shore: The Life of Adoniram Judson – Courtney Anderson (One of the first biographies I read, really got me interested in reading biographies of Christians)
Girl Talk- Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Whitacre, Kristen Chesemore & Janelle (Great mother-daughter study)
Morning & Evening- Charles Spurgeon (Still a favorite)
When I Don’t Desire God- John Piper (I found Desiring God difficult to read and apply when I first read it- but this book was much easier and definitely met me where I was at the time I first read it)
I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Boy Meets Girl, & Stop Dating the Church- Joshua Harris (All good, but Stop Dating the Church was especially helpful as a teenager who had grown up in the church)
Those are my first thoughts! I’m sure Jamie will have many more good ones to recommend as well.
-Lynne
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Daniel,
here are 4 books that stand out to me from High School:
Knowing God- JI Packer
Future Grace- Piper
Jonathan Edwards-Ian Murray
Trusting God- Jerry Bridges
-Jamie (Martin)
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Thanks,
Daniel
